Before I start, I just want to apologize for last week, with no explanations, and no intro. I was incredibly busy, and I couldn’t really find time to type up a whole post. Anyways, I went 9-4 in week nine and I going 8-4 last week, I have a total record of 77-60, which means 56.2% of my picks have been correct. That is surprisingly a step down from last week which was about 57%(56.67%). You would think that going 17-8 would increase your overall percentage but I guess not. On to the Picks!
Buffalo Bills VS Miami Dolphins
Winner: Miami Dolphins.
This game feels like a true flip of the coin. Both are relatively successful offenses with stellar defenses. Their RB situation is also similar in that both of their starting backs are injured. The difference I find, however, is that Ryan Tannehill, or as I like to call him “Ryan Swaggehill”, is better than Kyle Orton. He also takes care of his hair better. Even though he is bald. At least I think he’s bald. Hold on, let me look up a picture… No he has a buzzcut. Why did I think he was bald? Anyways, the point is that his hair looks better than Orton’s. I mean, just look at him!
Bowl cuts are not in style, bro. They never have been (except maybe when the Beatles were popular) and they never will be… At least, I hope not.
Houston Texans VS Cleveland Browns
Winner: Cleveland Browns.
Whoa. The Browns are good. Like for the first time! Whaaaaaat. That’s just crazy talk. But seriously, they are a good football team, and while Houston is alright, they don’t have a better offense or a better defense, at least, in my opinion. Since I put in the first picture I’ve ever put in an NFL post, why not make it a thing? At least, for this week.
Wow. That picture just screams tough.
Atlanta Falcons VS Carolina Panthers
Winner: Carolina Panthers.
I kind of want the Falcons to lose now. Mainly so that they can draft a great young player, and so they can clean house, coaching-wise. While I do think the Falcons could definitely win this one, if I had to choose between a terrible losing season with a high draft pick or a mediocre 7-9 season where they miss the playoffs, get a pick in the teens, and keep Mike Smith, I would go with the former. So… Go Panthers?
Yes. Go Panthers.
Minnesota Vikings VS Chicago Bears
Winner: Minnesota Vikings.
Well, like the Falcons, I hope that the Bears have a terrible rest of the season, so that they can draft Marcus Mariota and become a Powerhouse team! The fact that this is a 12:00 game at home also helps as they are winless in that situation.
Ah, the face of the 2020s Bears Dynasty!
Cincinnati Bengals VS New Orleans Saints
Winner: New Orleans Saints.
The Saints have a surprisingly good home run defense this year. Or at least good compared to their pass defense. The Bengals without a rushing attack is a team that relies heavily on Andy Dalton, and no one wants that. I wonder when they are going to start having AJ McCarron practice…
Could he be the solution to Cincinnati’s quarterback troubles? Probably not, but he is probably still better than Dalton.
Denver Broncos VS St. Louis Rams
Winner: Denver Broncos.
There’s no way that the Rams win. No way at all. Then again, they won against Seattle and San Francisco. Hmmm… Maybe this will be a close one?
Seattle Seahawks VS Kansas City Chiefs
Winner: Seattle Seahawks.
I think I might have picked the Seahawks to win every single game they have played so far. Hasn’t really worked so far, but, eh, I like my chances.
I can taste him already!
San Francisco 49ers VS New York Giants
Winner: New York Giants.
I take the Giants in a surprise win here because… Um… I don’t know. Just have that feeling, I suppose. As they say, variety is the spice of life.
The best Eli Manning picture on the planet.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers VS Washington Redskins
Winner: Washington Redskins.
DeSean Jackson is better than any other player on the Bucs’ roster. It’s just a fact. Well, actually it’s an opinion but it’s my opinion which means that I believe it to be better than yours. The Redskins are also a better team too, so that helps my pick a bit.
Pure swag right there, ladies and gentlemen. Pure swag.
Oakland Raiders VS San Diego Chargers
Winner: San Diego Chargers.
The Raiders Stink.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if their owner did too.
Detroit Lions VS Arizona Cardinals
Winner: Detroit Lions.
Boy, am I excited to see this game. Two of my favorite teams that are actually good going up against each other. The Cardinals being the first team I truly liked and the team that had Kurt Warner on it when I first started to pay attention to football, and the Lions being the team of my family, seeing as how all of them except me have been born in either Michigan or another country! I might not even watch RedZone this week, just to see this game all by its lonesome.
This is what I will look like when the game starts.
Philadelphia Eagles VS Green Bay Packers
Winner: Philadelphia Eagles.
This is another coin-flip type game. I honestly would not be surprised at all if the Packers dominated or lost a close one. No clue on this matchup. I just picked the Eagles because I’m a Bears fan, or at least, I used to be, and I really liked Silver Linings Playbook.
Awesome drawing by Michael Pattison.
New England Patriots VS Indianapolis Colts
Winner: Indianapolis Colts.
Every team’s hot streak has to end, and I think the Pats’ hot streak ends here. With Vontae Davis looking healthier and Andrew Luck continuing to look amazing, I just don’t think New England is strong enough to beat the Colts.
Andrew Luck spits on the Pats D.
Pittsburgh Steelers VS Tennessee Titans
Winner: Pittsburgh Steelers.
BLOWOUT ALERT! I don’t know if it was obvious, but there, I said it. Also I would choose the Raiders over the Titans if they faced each other so I suppose I could say that the Titans Stink.
Antonio Brown approves of this message.
So that’s all the picks for this week. I am pretty excited for it! And also if it wasn’t obvious enough, the pictures do not belong to me. I got them all off of Google, so don’t call me a Plagiarizer.